I just started to ride a bike. It's so the thing in Portland that I feel very trendy. Which on surface level makes me feel both nauseous and included. I don't know much about bike subculture but I do know that I've joined the ranks. And having a subculture, well it's been awhile, by while I mean never really. I like to circulate but I'm very particular about who can hang as I swing between deep self-reflection, getting to the proof and point of your interests and an ability to cope with your shiz as well as bust out of your own mold for the sake of taking yourself on a new ride now and then. So coping mechanisms are necessary. This ilk of people, like many of the other things I'm attracted to are both elusive and rewarding. And yes I know I've used the word elusive too many times already in the few blogs I have taken the time to post.
Right now I feel like I'm in need of this sort of company to roll with and with regularity, which means I have to branch out. I just recently moved to where I had been commuting to for years so I know the place but not really the people and that makes for some lonely stewing. I am a social creature, if left too long with my own musings I start get emotionally sick of myself and my cycles get even more cyclical which isn't good for keeping the blood flowing hard and in the right direction. Oh and I'm an extrovert trapped inside an introverts exterior. After a couple of intitial conversation I fully relax into myself but I cannot be paid to initiate. Truly...because if I was down with that I would be in marketing or uber customer service oriented fields. I know I must complicate myself on purpose, always working for and against some aspect of me. If only, if only....I hate whiners. Anyway, I've taken to looking for platonic meet up stuff online or seeking out new classes/interests that are socially based in order to shake down the community tree for some new people. Slow and steady wins the race right? Apparently this is a post with no driving point. I feel like I've said all that I wanted to on this topic. And certainly sending this out into the black void does nothing. I don't have any followers and if I did have any followers that were remotely like me we wouldn't hang out for fear that the other might be some sort of unhygenic, neurotic, social misfit on the other side of this screen. I wish I had a laptop...to be one of those laptop people, rubbing their sphere against the other spheres in coffee shops. Ahhh to want to be one of the laptop people, it's a sad state of affairs when I'm hungry. Potatoes start to look like meat.